Have you ever done something for someone without expecting anything in return? Like maybe doing their laundry, filling up their car with gas, baking something, writing a sweet note. Sometimes it can be hard not expecting anything in return if that person is especially difficult or if you are the only one doling out the kindnesses. Anyhow you can't ever change a person, they have to want to change! I always say we don't have control over anyone's actions but our own.
I was watching Ed Young and he was talking about dating a person long enough that the eros love wears off to make sure that they have agape love. You can know someone for years and years and they will still surprise you. I like the quote by Rob Bell "Agape doesn’t love somebody because they’re beautiful. Agape loves in such a way that it makes them beautiful".